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Joke of the Day
"Coldplay is like depression you can hear."
Next Joke
"How does Jesus make his coffee? Hebrews it!"
"How to get holy water? Boiling the hell out of it"
"What do you do when your dishwasher stops working? Smack that bitch and tell her to get back to work."
"Are you a guitar? Because I want to wrap my hands around your neck."
"During Sex Girl: Promise Me you Won't Break My Heart..., Boy: you are completely Silly Dear it's Not That Much Long"
"Noticed a spider while I was driving,so I did what any normal person would do and carefully trapped it in a napkin and set my car on fire."
"What was Mark Hamill's reaction when he finished reading The Force Awakens script? Speechless"
"Sent out a mass text invite to my pity party & Autocorrect turned it into a pita party. Now I'm eating hummus with people I don't even like."
"When CNN says they're ""breaking news"" they are, in a sense, right."