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Joke of the Day

"What do you do when your dishwasher stops working? Smack that bitch and tell her to get back to work."

"I told my date I was depressed. I added, ""not like cut my inner thigh depressed, but sleep with you even though I don't like you depressed."""

"Hey plastic surgeons, breast implants with squeaker toys in em. Get on that"

"What's a superheroes favorite narcotic? Heroine"

"What goes ""Clop clop clop, bang bang bang, clop clop clop""? An Amish drive-by shooting."

"Why didn't Lebron go to college? he didn't want to show up for the finals"

"I put my pants on just like everyone else: reluctantly."

"Why did the french guy not help his friend fix a pipe? He said he would assister."

"What's the difference between a dead baby and a Porsche? I don't have a Porsche sitting in my garage"

"The Buddhist Mafia is called Karma."