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Joke of the Day

"During Sex Girl: Promise Me you Won't Break My Heart..., Boy: you are completely Silly Dear it's Not That Much Long"

"What did you get for your birthday? Another year!"

"Did you hear Miley Cyrus does webcam gigs from her lounge now? You might say she's twerking from home."

"How do you make a hormone? Kick her in the cunt."

"I had a crazy dream that I weighed absolutely nothing... ...I was like, 0mg!"

"""By night's end, one of these teams will be the victor."" Thank you for that breakdown, Bob Costas. I was worried they might all die instead."

"TIFU by spraying water on a topless model Now all the seats are wet"

"I'm sitting in a bar, minding my own business, when a guy yells in my ear, ""I'm gonna fuck your mother!"" I turn around and say, ""go home dad, you're drunk again."""

"What's the difference between a chickpea and a lentil? Nobody will pay money to watch a lentil."

"If anyone ever tells you they've lost their voice They're lying."