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Joke of the Day

"How to get holy water? Boiling the hell out of it"

"Sometimes I feel so alone, and then I remember I'm a part of the biggest, most reliable 4G network in the country."

"What's brown and walks upstairs backwards? A corgi with a boner."

"I decided to read War and Peace whilst walking over the Golden-Gate, I'd heard the abridged version was easier to finish."

"When I get on facebook I get excited when I see the red numbers over the globe thing until I open it and find it is for a stupid game request."

"My Vietnamese friends just got married. They have the same common last name, so neither of them needed to change anything. You could say it's a Nguyen-Nguyen situation."

"Are you guys alright? No you are all left."

"A man walks into a bar. Ouch."

"*Pays bills* *Bank turns off debit card for suspicious activity*"

"Two gallons of milk sat within a fridge One was spoiled and the other was chocolate. Where did the spoiled milk sit? On the top shelf. Where did the chocolate milk sit? In the back."