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Joke of the Day
"How to get holy water? Boiling the hell out of it"
Next Joke
"Someone you don't care about just listened to a song you don't like on Spotify!"
"[Hoth Rebel Base] Leia: How's Skywalker? Han: He was nearly frozen when I found him. Leia: And, now? Han: Lukewarm. Leia: ... Han: Hehehe"
"A guy goes into a military surplus store... ..and asks the owner if he has any camouflage jackets. He says, ""I've got hundreds, but I can't find any of them!"""
"I heard that you only use like 10% of your brain. That leaves what, 82-83%?"
"Rob somebody at gunpoint today, show the world how serious you are at nicknaming your new friend Robert."
"Me: ""I need a home improvement loan."" Banker: ""What will you be using the money for?"" Me: ""A divorce lawyer."""
"Ronda Rousey's boxing"
"And the Best McDonald's Employee of the Month goes to Mad Max: Fury Road."
"What is that red stuff on your face? I said to my older cousin what was that red stuff on his face. ""Where?"" He said. I said , as I was forming a punch then punch is fucking face. ""Right there."""