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Joke of the Day
"How can you tell if an elephant has been in the fridge? There are footprints in the butter"
Next Joke
"What's the difference between John Wayne and Jack Daniels? Jack Daniels is still killing Indians"
"My walk of shame is leaving a handicapped restroom stall while trying not to make eye contact with the wheelchair guy who was waiting on me."
"I'm opening up a restaurant called: I Don't Care, Where Do You Wanna Go?"
"Who should have played Bilbo? Who should have played Bilbo Baggins in Lord of the Rings? Bruce Willis. Because old hobbits die hard."
"I dropped my bowl of SpaghettiOs and it spelled 'oooooooo' on the floor. Spooky"
"What subreddit do unborn babies use? Pro Life Tips."
"Beginning to worry that, on my deathbed, I'm going to be just lying there, refreshing twitter."
"Is mingerbread the opposite of stud muffin?"
"Everybody's getting Oreos with their Christmas cards this year. Related: Don't eat cookies while you're licking envelopes."