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Joke of the Day

"How many hipsters does it take to change a light bulb? It's an obscure number you've probably never heard of."

"Why did the mother of twins name both of her sons Edward? Because two Eds are better than one."

"Sex is like candy... You can't give it to little girls without people thinking you're a pedophile"

"How do you know a girl is into you? Just pinch yourself, if you don't wake up, she doesn't."

"If I ever become a filthy millionaire, I'm gonna string 50 smartwatches together and create a batman belt of gadgets out of them I know it's a waist of time, but it'll be worth it."

"I'm addicted to algebra I can't **function** without it!"

"It would suck being run over by a limo because it would take twice as long."

"Why do cowboys prefer wienie dogs? So they can get a long little doggie."

"What's the difference between illegal and unlawful? One is against the law, the other is a sick bird. Thanks folks, tip your waitresses I'll be here all day!"

"Classic rock is like listening to drugs."