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Joke of the Day

"Why can't feminists change a light bulb? Because no matter how many you have they still can't change shit."

"My grocery store keeps rearranging the produce section. If I need to work this hard to find bananas, there better be a damn tropical breeze!"

"Whats a mile long and has a thousand arms? The train to Auschwitz. Some German guy i used to play Path of Exile with told it to me."

"So I went to a zoo today... But it only had one small dog. It was a shih tzu."

"How do you tell if a man is gay? When you're fucking him in the ass, reach around; if he has a boner... He's gay"

"A black man and a mexican are in a car, who's driving? The police . . . . . . . They're the police you racist cunt."

"What do you call conjoined twins with the same name? Sharron."

"HER: You've run over my dog ME: I'm so sorry HER: You're gonna have to replace him ME: [imagines finally being called a good boy] yes please"

"What were the lawyer's final words to the man who killed him? I'll sue you in hell!"

"The good news is, I blocked the creepy guy. The bad news is, I'm tweeting this from inside his trunk."