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Joke of the Day

"My grocery store keeps rearranging the produce section. If I need to work this hard to find bananas, there better be a damn tropical breeze!"

"i just woke up from a 9 year coma! hope to god The Apprentice is off TV...nothing i hate more than that Donald Trump"

"What do African-Americans and Jews have in common? An increased risk for pancreatic adenocarcinoma."

"*throws a grenade at Bruno Mars' girlfriend* *Bruno Mars appears out of nowhere and catches it* *it explodes and both of them die*"

"Did you hear about the communist nymphomaniac? When the workers of the world united, they all got an equal part in her."

"What does Ivanka call her lower back tattoo? A Trump stamp."

"If I ever opened up a nail salon, I would definitely name it ""Handjobs""."

"What did one orphan say to another? Robin, get in the batmobile."

"My girlfriend said she would leave me if I did't stop singing The Monkee's. Then I saw her face, now I'm a believer."

"I can't let my girlfriend leave me I'd lose a hand"