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Joke of the Day

"Sorry 2015, but I just got out of a year-long relationship with 2014 and I'm not looking for anything serious right now."

"What did the Italian diver say when he saw an eel? That's a moray!"

"What did the scientist see when he looked up his family tree? A gorilla pooped on his face."

"What are people in motels doing that they need such a steady and reliable source of ice?"

"If you're walking down the street and see a teenager, don't panic; just yell ""One Direction selfie twerk"" and slip away in the confusion."

"The number of Pina coladas I drank on vacation is this (my daughter doesn't want to cruise with me again) many."

"I accidentally said something that lead a girlfriend to believe I'm a lesbian... Must have been a slip of the tongue"

"What if... Obama was secretly working for the government?"

"When life gives me lemons, I make lemon meringue pie..because lemonade is for amateurs...& because I'm gay..& we always take it up a notch."

"What do you call a tired tumblrina? A nap-kin."