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Joke of the Day

"So I got a new job, and at the interview they told me I would be making millions... I'll be working at the U.S. Mint."

"Old MacDonald had a very bad Scrabble hand... E-I-E-I-O."

"What is the most annoying part of boiling vegetables? Finding a pot big enough for the wheelchair."

"Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 did 9/11"

"And the award for the best neckwear goes to... Well, will you look at that, it's a tie!"

"The Best Day Ever by Trudy Light"

"I bought a friend an elephant for his room. He said, ""Thanks!"" and I said, ""Don't mention it"""

"Today is national suicide prevention day.. so remember.. If you see any suicide bombers...... Shoot them."

"My wife and I were convicted of paedophilia The kids are taking it pretty hard."

"I feel quite light today. Pounds aren't what they used to be."