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Joke of the Day

"Those first two guys who thought Superman was a bird or a plane...? What the fuck were they so excited about?"

"I recently came into a very large sum of money so they fired me from my job at the bank."

"How do you defeat an American? Don't do anything, just place a mirror in front of them and see as they squirm."

"Ima dad that got his hairs cut yesterday. I felt a bit lightheaded this morning"

"As if "" cray cray"" wasn't irritating enough, people have started shortening it to "" cray""....that's just stu stu"

"I heard women love a man in uniform. Can't wait to start working at McDonalds."

"I changed my mind Wife: I changed my mind... Husband: Does the new one work?"

"Hillary and Bernie walk into a bar... Hillary says that she shouldn't buy the drinks because she is Hillary. Bernie says that the drinks should be free for everyone. America dies."

"What do you call a Battlefront without EA? Bttlfront"

"I finally got a housekeeper. it's my ex-wife. She kept the house."