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Joke of the Day

"I met my girlfriend on 11/1/14... But it's now 12/31/15. She's destroyed my KDA this game."

"Guys I guess October is... Octover"

"I like my women the way I like my coffee Light and sweet, but with lots of fucked up behind the scenes things that had to happen in order to produce them."

"*texts god* Me: yo, can we add ""being a grammar nazi"" to the list of sins? Their annoying. God: *they're"

"Have you heard about the new car from Israel? Not only does it stop on the dime, but it picks it up too!"

"Be the first thought on her mind when she wakes up & the last before she sleeps... unless she's plotting your murder... then don't be that."

"It's not love until you don't want them to have a good time without you."

"What street do you put a lesbian restaurant on? Eater Route"

"If a quiz is quizzical what is a test?"

"Me: Shhh, your brother is still sleeping. 4yo: *runs upstairs CRASH JUMP ""Wake up!"" SLAM *runs back downstairs ""No, he's not."""