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Joke of the Day

"Why can't Africa have Volkswagen beetles? Because an elephant will screw anything with a trunk in the front. Thanks to a random guy outside of a 7/11."

"Very few people can brag about getting a handjob from their barber after a haircut nowadays. Then again, very few people cut their own hair."

"What did Hitler say to the Black Jew? ja, ja, arsch ficken mich harter, gestut"

"What's a butt's favorite exercise? High Knees"

"Imagine how much self-control the people who make bubble wrap must have."

"Little Brother: I'm going to buy a sea horse. Big Brother: Why? Little Brother: Because I want to play water polo!"

"What was the Christian plastic surgeons specialty? Faith lifts"

"It's like my whole life is just one horrendous karaoke song choice after another."

"What did the manager of a log cutting company tell his employees when they were working too slow? Chop chop."

"Me: [stands under majestic tree watching leaves fall] This is beautiful [2 hours later buried under a mountain of leaves] you piece of shit"