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Joke of the Day

"Why can't Africa have Volkswagen beetles? Because an elephant will screw anything with a trunk in the front. Thanks to a random guy outside of a 7/11."

"I don't bite the hand that feeds me. I lightly suck the thumb."

"While it paints me to say this... I'm really not much of an artist."

"What do most people do when they see a python ? They re-coil !"

"22 year old me after a night of drinking: ""I hope I didn't do anything stupid."" 29 year old me: ""I hope I didn't agree to go on a hike."""

"who wore it better: Russell Brand or Steven Tyler's microphone stand"

"You are so ugly... ...the last time you got a piece of ass was when your hand ripped through the toilet paper."

"What do Congressional Republicans and ISIS in Afghanistan have in common?. Their first act since arriving was to go after the elderly."

"How do I stay humble? Well, it's not easy, but I start by being generally bad at almost all things."

"Wolverine and a lawyer walk into a bar. The bartender says, ""No claws, please!"" They both leave."