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Joke of the Day

"I like my slaves like I like my coffee. Free."

"1. Bang knee on table - curse life. 2. Check credit card balance. 3. Think back to sweet moment when you banged knee on table."

"Your kid may be an honors student, but you're still an idiot."

"im 100% for equal rights for women! I mean so what they are inferior to men?"

"What does Snoop Dogg have an umbrella for? Fo' Drizzle"

"My dentist told me to relax, then got all judgey about me uncorking my wine in his office. He needs to make up his mind."

"We now have TWO Wawa's by the interstate. The one on the east side of I4 is not so bad. But the other one, whoa. It's the Wawa West over there."

"Who can shave 25 times a day and still have a beard? A barber."

"What do you call a cow with no legs?? Ground Beef"

"What does having sex in a canoe and drinking light beer have in common. Either way you're fucking close to water."