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Joke of the Day

"Why do Irishmen grow mustaches? So they look like their mothers"

"The Size of my Penis is Very Private It's information that should be kept between me, my doctor, and his wife."

"The Energizer Bunny stole the Morton's girl umbrella. It was assault with battery!"

"Seeing a stuffed deer head on a wall makes me imagine its legs in the next room, just flailing around wildly."

"ME: need help? GIRL (having car trouble): could u give me a jump ME (inflating the bounce house I keep in my trunk): I thought u'd never ask"

"What you can get with 57 000? A home for a refugee. Or a shit ton of beer"

"Hey Guinevere *knight flips up his visor* Hast thou considered my proposal? Because *unsheathes blade* I'm sword of a big deal."

"Yo' Mama is so ugly **..yo' daddy takes her to work with him so he doesn't have to kiss her goodbye.**"

"What is wrong with Riverdale that ARCHIE was the best option?"

"Why is it once you go black you never go back? Because no one will take you back"