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Joke of the Day

"Part of our choir got kidnapped last week! Two guys just got arrested for grand theft alto."

"Bend over and take it like a taxpayer."

"What was Captain Picard's favorite kind of train? N-Gauge."

"What do you call a girl hanging from a basketball rim? Annette"

"If you get robot arms don't get the cheap ones [starts clapping for no reason]"

"*In the ER* ""We're losing him, anyone have any ideas?"" ""How about 50 cc's of a cool refreshing beverage?"" ""Dammit Dr. Pepper not now!"""

"I'm making a band! I started a band called 999 Megabytes...we havent gotten a gig yet."

"Boy: Do you like parties? Girl: Yes, why? Boy: Well then jump in my pants and have a ball!"

"I used to wonder... ...why golf tournaments aren't called Stroke-Offs Then I turned 12."

"What did the egg say to the boiling water? It's gonna take me a while to get hard, I just got laid by some chick."