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Joke of the Day

"Vampires love tea... A vampire goes into a pub and asks for boiling water. The barman says ""I thought you only drink blood?"" The vampire pulls out a used tampon and says, ""I'm making tea""!"

"Scott Eastwood says Ashton Kutcher slept with his girlfriend when they dated. I didn't know the Scott Eastwood and Ashton Kutcher had dated?"

"I love meeting new people. Not you. Don't touch me."

"How did the scarecrow win a noble prize? He was *out standing* in his field."

"Did you hear about the guy who gave Jesus bad directions? He went to hell, but at least he turned a prophet!"

"Donald Trump secretly wants to lose the election? If he wins, he'll have to move into a smaller house in a black neighborhood."

"I'm going to open a summer camp for kids with ADD And call it 'The Concentration Camp'"

"I hope Jeb Bush wins the primaries Then takes Dick Cheney as his running mate. There campaign slogan would be ""same dick, new bush."""

"What did the atheist say when he found himself at the Pearly Gates the day he died? Well I'll be damned!"

"In 5th grade I had to do a report on Ben Franklin and my parents interpreted it as me liking him so my 11th birthday was Ben Franklin themed"