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Joke of the Day
"What do you call the electronic process of making a sandwich? A sub routine."
Next Joke
"In my day a hand on my crotch was third base... now even a hand job is a foul ball!"
"I'm ready to start a family, in the sense that I have enough chip clips for 6 people."
"Having sex is like multiplying numbers together If they're under 13, just do them in your head."
"What do you call it when the robot from Futurama gets in a minor car accident while wearing a dress? A gender bender Bender fender bender."
"Q: Why are the citizens of Damascus so solemn when talking about oil? A: Because it's Syria's business. (cross-post from /r/funny by request)"
"Hey ninja turtles, if youre trying to hide that youre turtles maybe dont drive around in a van thats customized to look like a giant turtle."
"[dismissed from jury duty because I kept coughing loudly the words 'bribe me']"
"When my doctor told me that I am able to astral project at night... ... I was beside myself"
"How to scare burglars off.... First put pictures on the wall of you with a tiger. Second put a cat litter box in your hall and shit in it."