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Joke of the Day

"What do you call it when the robot from Futurama gets in a minor car accident while wearing a dress? A gender bender Bender fender bender."

"What did the dead magician say? Abra-cadaver"

"Your momma is so fat.... She ate the internet"

"Girls are like internet domain names All the good ones are taken, so all we are left with are the strange foreign ones that nobody wants."

"My credit card is like a stripper. There isn't much on it."

"wife: Did you get the cat out of the tree? me [bleeding] Wasn't a cat"

"Grocery shopping on a diet is easy in Germany.. Just look for the *gluten tag*."

"Height Of Facebook Influence Height of Facebook influence Doctor the patient: How you're feeling now? Patient: I'm feeling lonely with chill girl and 60 other persons"

"Me: *slowly unzips footed jammies* Him: Heyyy...you uh...wanna fool around? Me: What? No, I just lost an M&M in my onesie"

"What do you do with dead chemists? Barium"