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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a cross between a donkey and an onion? A piece of ass that will bring a tear to your eye"

"*kid opens Easter egg* *egg begins beeping* ""Dad why's it ticking"" SON NO THAT'S FROM THE- *egg explodes* *sheds tear* Middle-Easter bunny"

"""Instead of putting this away, I'll leave it right here for the next time I need it."" - Men"

"The janitor lady for my apartment building asked me out on a date & said she had some weed. I told her I'm not into high maintenance women."

"Why did the midget cross the road? Because he was getting chased by two assholes still drunk from St. Patrick's Day."

"What did the cake say to the Pie? ""That's sweet, ain't it?"""

"Tragic: In the world every 60 seconds... ...One minute passes."

"I love my life, but it just wants to be friends..."

"If Donald Trump has been married three times... Does that make Melania the ""Third Lady""?"

"Back in the day my parents wanted me to marry only one of my own. Now they're like ""That orangutan looks nice. That elephant looks smart."""