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Joke of the Day

"*kid opens Easter egg* *egg begins beeping* ""Dad why's it ticking"" SON NO THAT'S FROM THE- *egg explodes* *sheds tear* Middle-Easter bunny"

"Why is Texas not a part of Mexico? Because Oklahoma sucks so much"

"My penis was in the Guinness Book of World Records.... But then the librarian told me to take it out..."

"What file turns a 1mm hole into a 10mm hole? A paedophile."

"A brightly-colored van drives slowly down our street. Kids gather excitedly. It is the Edible Arrangements truck. We are all betrayed."

"What will happen if somebody were to kill all Scotsmen? They will get off scot-free."

"A fish that goes against the current Dies electrocuted"

"What is a male porn actor's favorite one hit wonder song? Come on Eileen."

"At my funeral I'm going to have a Sharpie chained to the coffin so friends can draw one last dick on my face."

"Why did Waldo wear a striped shirt? He didn't want to be spotted."