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Joke of the Day

"Why can't you play UNO with a mexican? They always steal the green card."

"The secret of a long marriage is accepting the utter euphoria you would feel from strangling your spouse to death isn't worth life in jail."

"This joke is brought to you by Arnold Schwarzeneggers one-sided chess set. ""I'll be black"""

"What is a clowns fart made of? Laughing gas."

"What does a communist cat say Mao"

"I can't get out of bed These blankets have accepted me as one of their own and if I leave now I might lose their trust."

"Why did the Broadway star with a tiny butt get evicted? Because he was a little behind on Rent!"

"[NSFW] What is the best thing about gaffer tape ? It turns ""no, no, no"" into ""mmm, mmm, mmm"""

"Moshe was walking down the street and gets run over by another Jewish driver. The driver speeds away and yells out the window ""Watch Out""! Moshe responds ""Why? Are you coming back?"

"What's the difference between a personal trainer and a bully? None, they still take your money after beating you up. Edit: sorry for the typo."