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Joke of the Day

"The secret of a long marriage is accepting the utter euphoria you would feel from strangling your spouse to death isn't worth life in jail."

"What do you get when you throw a rabbit at someone's head? Facial Hare"

"Wanna hear a good joke? Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side! hahaha! What did you think I was going to say?"

"How much for a haircut? Barber: Fifteen dollars. How much for a shave? Barber: Ten dollars. Right - shave my head."

"What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson One of them did the moonwalk, the other had sex with boys"

"What's the secret ingredient in Bush's Baked Beams? Jetfuel."

"[Calls Ex-Girlfriend] Remember all those hair-ties and Bobby pins you lost? Well, I found all 5,000 while moving."

"What do canola oil and some abortions have in common? They come from rape seed."

"Incest It's all relative."

"What did the alien say to the cat? Take me to your litter."