70463

Joke of the Day

"as a kid, there really wasn't anything I wanted to be when i grew up. and boy have i nailed it."

"I'm sorry I hurt your feelings. When I called you stupid, I really thought you already knew.."

"Why did the pirate put springs on his treasure chest? He wanted to see that booty bounce."

"A guy in a public place, phone out, camera on... He approaches a young woman. ""What are you doing, creep?"" she says. He glances up, smiles, and says ""Calm down. I'm just trying to get a Pikachu."""

"Hi mom, we shot the new Hobbit movie today. I'm orc #56, the one accidentally wearing a watch. The director was really mad."

"How many people does it take to circumcise a whale? Foreskin divers"

"I bought my wife a pen for her birthday. I should have got a better one though, she keeps getting out."

"Sex_al Harass_ _nt All that's missing is ""u"" and ""me""."

"So bartenders are starting to make a drink called the ""Hurricane Sandy""... Essentially, it's a just a watered-down Manhattan."

"What is the most sensitive part on mans body while he is masturbating. His ears."