91725

Joke of the Day

"I bought my wife a pen for her birthday. I should have got a better one though, she keeps getting out."

"So a baby seal walks into a club ..."

"What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing...it just let out a little wine."

"Did you hear Kony is raising up another army? It's a baby only army. The infant-ry."

"Snoop Dogg; Shake what'cha momma gave you. Me; Ummm... ok. <vigorously shakes a frozen lasagna>"

"What's the difference between a Chickpea and a Garbanzo Bean? I haven't had a garbanzo bean on my face."

"Hey Home Shopping Network: We have the internet now."

"I'm all set for Friday night: got my mac 'n cheese dinner, 40 oz., 'Steel Magnolias' DVD, Twitter friends and tears."

"I brought my gimp home from the club yesterday and took off his mask... Oops, wrong sub!"

"Why aren't there any Walmarts in the middle east? Because there's Targets around every corner."