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Joke of the Day

"The only thing grosser than finding a hair in your Velveeta cheese is knowing the ingredients inside Velveeta cheese & continuing to eat it."

"A moment of silence for all those who are stuck in traffic, trying to get to the gym, to ride stationary bikes..."

"Where does the vampire sail? In the bloodstream."

"What do a necrophiliac and an alcoholic have in common? They both like to crack open a cold one"

"Mayweather was boring tonight... If only they'd have thrown a woman in the ring, we could have seen him fight."

"ITEMS EVERY WOMAN SHOULD OWN: -Little Black Dress -Cute flats -Strappy s- ok now that the men have stopped reading, we revolt at dawn."

"Sometimes when I say ""I'm OK"", what I really want is for someone to give me a hug, say ""You're not OK"" and hand me $10,000."

"I accidently opened the fitness app and my phone immediately called to report itself stolen."

"What is a tornado ? Mother nature doing the twist !"

"what's the difference between BMW and a Porky Pine? The porky Pine has the prick on the outside."