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Joke of the Day

"Thinking about opening up a sperm bank in New Jersey. Gonna call it: ""Get a load of this guy over here!""."

"Why do procrastinators live the longest? Because they die at the last second."

"What's the difference between America and a yogurt? After 200 years a yogurt will develop a culture."

"A relationship where you can act like complete idiots together is the sweetest thing ever."

"I tried a new shampoo that adds extra volume but I found it too loud."

"Knock knock Who's there ? Siobhan Siobhan who? Siobhan your knickers, your dad's home."

"Kid threw a rainbow slushee at my windshield .... Thought I hit a unicorn"

"Years ago I tried on my sister's bra, couldn't undo the clasp & was too embarrassed to ask for help. I'm still wearing it. I live in shame."

"Being an amputee... On one hand it has its benefits, but on the oth-"

"What do you call a man with no shins? Tony."