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Joke of the Day

"me on my first date: ""for me to continue this relationship you need to choose correctly"" [i pull a frog & a lizard out of my pocket]"

"Kid behind me on plane kicking my chair and coloring. *turns around* *grabs one of his crayons* *slowly breaks it* *whispers ""you're next""*"

"What does a nearsighted gynecologist and puppy have in common? A wet nose"

"Men are from Mars. Women are from Venus. Gays are definitely from Saturn. You know the only planet chic enough to accessorize with a belt."

"This year for Kwanzaa, I'm getting my roommate the traditional Kwanzaa toy. A Dr. Dreidel"

"Hot shingles in your area are looking to give your dermatomes a painfully good time!"

"What did one wall say to the other wall? Lets meet in the corner!"

"Why don't skeletons play music in church? Because they got no organs."

"Drug Dealer: U have to tell me if ur a cop. Cop: U have to tell me if ur a dealer. DD: U sure? Cop: Ya Im a cop, I know laws Oh damn it."

"What did the Hispanic security guard drink at the airport... Tea Ese."