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Joke of the Day

"A neutron walks into a bar. If you dont know how the rest goes im sorry you dont deserve to be on the internet."

"The way to a man's heart is through his stomach. Stab in and thrust up."

"Me: Two fingers here. Son: OK. M: One in the other hole. S: Got it. M: Relax your wrist. Wife: WHAT ARE YOU TEACHING HIM? M: Bowling. Chill."

"A man once ate a whole deck of playing cards. A couple of hours later, he had to drop a deuce."

"If you are going to call the cops every time you spot me in your bushes I don't think this relationship is going to work."

"What did the lawyer say when he stepped in dog shit? Help me..... I'm melting"

"I made up a good one. Why do so many white people do meth? Nobody likes a cracker without salt. *I'm white*"

"One of my favourite things is Pork Souvlaki on a Pita But it's hard to get the animal rights activists to stay still"

"The cat is heat and keeps presenting herself to the dog I'm just sitting here with my finger hovering above the record button."

"Why don't you see hippos hiding in trees? Because they are really f**king good at it."