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Joke of the Day

"What did the lawyer say when he stepped in dog shit? Help me..... I'm melting"

"Got into a car accident with a mobile library before. I'm perfectly fine, but the police really threw the book at me."

"How can you use a banana as a compass? Place a banana on the Berlin Wall. East is where a bite has been taken out of it. [Source](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/East_Germany_jokes)"

"A law student walks into the bar... ...and passes with flying colors."

"Former presidential candidate Senator Sanders falls ill. What do you call him? A sick Bern."

"What's the ultimate rejection? When you masturbate and your hand falls asleep."

"I think my girlfriend has had 61 lovers before me... Because she calls me her sixty second lover"

"A man walks into a bar with a piece of green tarmac on his head... The landlord says to the rest of the customers: ""Don't talk to him! He's a **cycle path**!"" Ba Dum Tss!"

"What did a disappointed Arnold Schwarzenegger say when he fished up a Salmon? ""IT'S NOT A TUNA!!!"""

"Did you hear about the lesbian couple who couldn't afford a double-headed dildo? They were having trouble making ends meet"