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Joke of the Day

"If you are going to call the cops every time you spot me in your bushes I don't think this relationship is going to work."

Next Joke
 
"What's the similarity between communism and a pencil? They both only really work on paper"
"What's the definition of an accountant? Someone who solves a problem you didn't know you had in a way you don't understand."
"Mountains aren't just funny. They're hill areas."
"Just bought a sweet British accent off of Daniel Craig's List."
"Banana Shirt http://teespring.com/Banana-Shirt#pid=369&cid=6519&sid=front"
"Why are elephants big and grey? Because if they were small and purple, they would be called grapes."
"My insomnia is getting worse But I'm not going to lose any sleep over it."
"My girlfriend wants a Christmas Gift she can wear... I'm going to give her a facial."
"I want to die like my Grandpa: peacefully in my sleep. Not screaming like everyone else in the car."