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Joke of the Day
"A man once ate a whole deck of playing cards. A couple of hours later, he had to drop a deuce."
Next Joke
 
"Me: it's robocop Wife: it's not robocop it's dangerous *a roomba with a gun taped to it is shooting at our cat*"
"What do you call a vegetarian with bad gas? A leaf blower"
"What would Valve call the next world war? A Global Offensive."
"I have nice cans and beautiful ass, yet nobody likes me.. apparently you should also belong to the right gender."
"How do you scare a man Sneak up behind him and start throwing rice"
"Respect to this dude at CVS whose sole purchase is Frosted Flakes"
"Someone recently broke in to my nan's flat and stole her precious limbo trophy... How low can you get?"
"The number of ""followers"" you have does not make you better than anyone else. Hitler had millions, Jesus had 12."
"I watched my neighbor get evicted the other day... ...It was a moving experience."