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Joke of the Day

"If a duck and a elephant were to vote They'd vote for donald trunk"

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"People used to dress as monsters for Halloween. Now they dress as characters from shows you don't watch."
"Jeb Bush just tweeted a picture of a gun engraved with 'Gov. Jeb Bush' with the caption 'America' At least he'll never have to get it re-engraved"
"Trump can't release his taxes Putin hasn't sent his W2s yet"
"Pollen count so high, junkies are trying to uncook their meth back to Sudafed."
"[at my funeral] *casket falls onto the floor* Mum: that's the quickest I've ever seen him move Dad: lol owned"
"What's the difference between a very old shaggy Yeti and a dead bee? One's a seedy beast and the other's a deceased bee."
"Knock Knock Who's there ! Bridie ! Bridie who ? Bridie light of the silvery moon !"
"Them: What would you do if you knew that you couldn't fail? Me: Probably eat spaghetti while wearing a clean gray sweatshirt."
"Egg puns This eggcellent thread should have all the egg related yokes you can think of. Bring it on."