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Joke of the Day

"An Atheist, a Crossfiter, and a Vegan walk into a bar... how do I know? Because everyone repost this joke everytime!"

"Me: So, what do you do for a living? Her: I flip houses. Me: You must have incredible lower back strength. Her: You're an idiot."

"Hitler was a charitable guy. He backed Japan when they needed help in WW2."

"I hope the friends that haven't called me in a while know how much I appreciate that."

"To the woman with the screaming kids in Walmart: If you're wondering how the condoms got in your cart....You're welcome"

"Many burn victims are not very attractive, But all of them used to be extremely hot at some point in the past."

"He paid me $150 for the ""girlfriend experience,"" so I went through his phone then locked myself in the bathroom, sobbing inconsolably."

"How many seconds are in a year? Only 12. One for every month."

"Why don't blondes wear mini skirts in San Francisco? Their balls will show."

"Fred: I was going to buy you a handkerchief for your birthday. Betty: That was a kind thought. But why didn't you? Fred: I couldn't find one big enough for your nose."