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Joke of the Day

"Put yourself in my shoes for a minute... ...Now you're a mile away, and you have my shoes!"

"What do you call 6.02x10^23 avocados? Guaca-mole"

"Whats the difference between a priest and acne? Acne waits till you're 12 to come on your face"

"Why did the eunuch farmer wake up late? he had no cock!!!"

"Shovels are incredible They're ground-breaking technology!"

"Tip: ""At the same time"" has more characters than ""simultaneously."" The point is, having a vocabulary helps you tweet gooder."

"Ever accidentally throw something away and then later realize you actually needed it? I did this with my life."

"Woman always call me ugly until I tell them how much money I earn Then they call me both ugly and poor"

"Someone offered to take me fly fishing, but I turned them down. I like to keep it reel."

"When I come back in the next life, I would like to come back as a bathroom mirror in a house full of hot women."