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Joke of the Day

"I have a lift off a colleague to work everyday, and always feel ill when we go under bridges.... I think I must have carpool tunnel syndrome."

"Black Lumberjack What tool does a black lumberjack use? An ask. (Explanation: Because most black people say ax for ask, it is swapped around.) Came up with it by myself, how did I do?"

"Q: What do blonde's have against condoms? A: Their cheeks."

"Would you rather have a 300-pound dog chase you or a tiger? I'd rather have him chase the tiger."

"A boy goes into a butcher's shop and says, Mum says can we please have a sheep's head..."". ""...and you're to leave the eyes in 'cos it's got to see us through the week."" Credit to Terry Pratchett."

"What did Cinderella do when she got to the ball? Gagged. Credit to my house-mate for this gem!"

"I often wonder how different it would be if I were to go back to grade school Not so much with the knowledge I have now, but with the penis I have now"

"TIL You can watch the sun through a telescope without any filters. Only twice though..."

"Doing squats. And by that I mean I'm in the squat position. But really the couch is holding me up. I'm sitting on the couch."

"A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, ""GET OUT OF MY BAR, YOU FUCKING HORSE!"""