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Joke of the Day

"You can lie about where you went to college & nobody has any idea. Pretty sure you can also just lie about going to college."

"Did you hear about the Patriots? I personally think it's all overblown."

"What did the HS principal say when he accidentally got a math substitute to fill in for a chemistry teacher? Whoops, wrong sub."

"The name is Bond. James Bond. James Melvin ""Crazy Legs"" Bond."

"Take my wife, Please!"

"How many flies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two... just don't ask me how they got in there."

"*interrupts friends* ""u gotta hear this tweet..Ok.."" *realizes tweet starts with 'action asterisks' & doesnt know how to read that out loud*"

"Why are Indians the best pizza makers? Because they always do the kneedful."

"What is the difference between a gay guy and a fridge? The fridge doesn't fart when you pull meat out."

"Why did a footballer take a piece of rope onto the pitch ? He was the skipper !"