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Joke of the Day

"What is the difference between a gay guy and a fridge? The fridge doesn't fart when you pull meat out."

"If you wear a ship's captain's hat around, people will just do what you say. I run a Starbucks, a Target, a submarine, and two street gangs."

"I told my Kentucky raised girlfriend her family tree doesn't fork... ...it spoons. She did not find it humorous"

"Why was yellow angry at red? Red blue green."

"What did the pints say upon landing on Planet Metric? ""Take us to your liter."""

"What do you call a panther and a ghost combined?"

"If I could choose any one mythological creature to become alive & real, I'd have to pick: My girlfriend."

"How did the hillbilly find his sister in the woods? Pretty good. ( )"

"I'm opening up a restaurant called: I Don't Care, Where Do You Wanna Go?"

"Why did Johnny teach the cockatoo to do a front flip? So he could say he flipped the bird. ^I'm^not^very^good^at^these"