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Joke of the Day
"Why are Indians the best pizza makers? Because they always do the kneedful."
Next Joke
"Don't worry about the world coming to an end today... ...It is already tomorrow in Australia."
"What's your father's name? Teacher: What's your father's name? Kid: Joke!! Teacher: (irritatingly) are you kidding? kid: Nopes, he's my brother, I am joking!!"
"When I was a kid, hearing, ""Wow, you are really getting heavy"" used to make me beam with satisfaction..... But now I'm 35 and weigh 300 pounds, that shit has totally lost its appeal."
"That moment when you gently throw your phone onto your bed and it decides to bounce off 3 walls, hit a lamp, and kill your dog."
"Ever wonder why You never see the headline. Physic wins the lottery."
"I want to call my daughter Bellaillusions... because tricks are something a whore does for money."
"Dear girls that go tanning, it's called 'sunkissed', it's not called 'dorito raped'."
"There is a new Barbie doll on the market - Sumo Barbie ...comes with thong"
"I'm an insomniac, and I fucking hate it... My friends sleep like a log and they love it, but when I try I have nightmares about lumberjacks."