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Joke of the Day

"Breaking news A landslide recently struck downtown Chicago, causing $3 million worth of improvements."

"Dark Souls 3 playing dark souls 3 starts.. restarts restarts restarts restarts restarts Alt+F4"

"[Dr's office] ""I have Carrie like reflexes"" Don't you mean cat-like reflexes? *Dr hits my knee with reflex hammer and I set him on fire* No"

"Is it racist that I think all of Tyler Perry's movies look alike?"

"Me: Do you want to meet your sisters at the bus stop? 5: *doesn't look up* I already know them."

"Welcome to the BBC... Welcome to the BBC. Rape all the children you like, just don't punch a producer."

"Why did the octopus become an electrician? Because many hands make light work."

"I found a satanic puzzle in the toilet today. It was a loo cipher"

"I have a fear of speed bumps... But im slowly gettin over it."

"I ate 15 raw oysters last night at the restaurant. I paid for it with exploding diarrhea. I think they would have preferred cash."