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Joke of the Day

"[Dr's office] ""I have Carrie like reflexes"" Don't you mean cat-like reflexes? *Dr hits my knee with reflex hammer and I set him on fire* No"

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"Rate kickass only this if your name isn't Steve"
"You know what would be a good name for a cocaine delivery service company? Instagram"
"Slept like a baby last night Woke up every hour and just cried about my life."
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