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Joke of the Day

"If only we had more money for mosquito nets in Africa... think of all the mosquitoes we could save from dying needlessly of AIDS."

"I was raised by wolves I was then lowered by bears They really should only have one species of animal operating these cranes"

"I can't believe how much I cried after that recent episode of the Game of Thrones! ""*There will be no walk of atonement.""* Sigh."

"Seriously. Once you learn how it reaches your dinner plate, you'll never want to eat human flesh again."

"If a tree falls in the woods and nobody is around to hear it... ...does a hipster buy it's album? Not mine but I love it."

"""It's terminal-"" GOD! HOW LONG DO I HAVE? ""Departure time is in three hours."" THREE? WHAT DO I DO? ""This is an airport."" SO WHAT? I'M DYING!"

"I sext my foreign girlfriend a lot. I've come to find it's very difficult to say I'm stroking my cock in French; Although really I should just wait till class is over."

"I want to name my next pet Peeve."

"Why do they call Hannibal Lecter ""The Mail Man""? He always delivers."

"Eye no howe too spiel"