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Joke of the Day

"Why did the chicken cross the road, roll around in mud, and cross again after being caught by the mafia? Because he was a dirty double crosser."

"What was the slutty princess full of? Kingdom come"

"I heard some guy tell two horrible Malaysian Airline jokes The first one got no response, and the second one was shot down in flames."

"I found where my mom hid the scissors, so everyone in my house woke up with a new haircut this morning."

"Computers and my spouse are very similar in some ways. If ever there is something wrong, it's probably my fault."

"When a bird poops on you, it's also peeing on you, because they do both at the same time. So remember: you're a TOTAL bird toilet."

"Did you know unicorns exist? Yeah man. You didn't know? They're short and fat, and people call them rhinos."

"A Santa joke. So what does a pimp and Santa have in common? They both go Ho Ho Ho I'll see myself [out] (http://i.imgur.com/9gdyd.gif)"

"Energizer Bunny arrested! Charged with battery."

"Suicide Squad spoiler: Jared Leto's Joker is so twisted he puts big spoons in the drawer slots where the little spoons go."