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Joke of the Day

"When a bird poops on you, it's also peeing on you, because they do both at the same time. So remember: you're a TOTAL bird toilet."

"Why did the man clean up after getting a sex change? He felt disorganized."

"Can somebody help me debug Malaysian Flight Simulator? It keeps crashing unexpectedly :/"

"What do you call a Muslim who plays '50s rock music during Ramadan? a Rama-dana-ding-dong"

"The Asian father reads his son's report card, where he finds a ""B"". ""B is for Burger King, where YOU'LL WORK FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE!"""

"my cat sounds so cute when he sneezes but i really wish he'd stop wasting the coke. it's like goddamn amateur hour with him."

"""Head, Shoulders, Knees and Toes"" is actually a song about everything that will hurt when you hit about 30 years old."

"WHAT DO YOU CALL...... Q: WHAT DO YOU CALL IT WHEN SOMEONE FARTS IN A GAY BAR? A: A PICK UP LINE"

"If I ever wanted to kill myself... climbing up your ego and jumping down to your IQ level would get the job done."

"There are hospitals for the criminally insane. And then there are parliaments for the insanely criminal."