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Joke of the Day

"Why did I throw my phone out of my window? Because I turned on airplane mode, and thought it would turn my Iphone into a plane..."

"Why can't a bicycle stand on its own? It's two tired"

"I wanted to hire a marsupial butler... but none of the applicants were koala-fied."

"""I've got 99 problems and I'm not dealing with any of them."" (Lay-Z)"

"Dear Sepp Blatter... There's only one Robert Mugabe... Yours Truly... Life"

"saying ""we won"" after watching a sports game is like saying ""we played really well"" after watching a concert"

"Heard this really good joke at work today. You guys would've really loved it."

"what do you call a clan of barbarians you cant see? invisigoths"

"Great, so a week ago my doctor gave me a letter, which confirmed that I have dyslexia... and now I've received one that says I have tiny tits. Oh no wait, tinnitus."

"[magician rolls over in bed] ""Last night was amazing"" Woman: Magical. Make me breakfast? Magician: [waves magic wand, eats her]"