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Joke of the Day

"The recipe said ""Set the oven to 180 degrees,"" so I did, but now I can't open it because the door faces the wall."

"Are your pants from outer space or is your butt just out of this world?"

"You know the honeymoon is pretty much over when you start to go out with the boys on Wednesday nites and so does she."

"[Date] Me: how about a drink? get whatever floats your boat Her: thanks! i'll have a mai tai Me: *glaring* you float a boat with water karen"

"[NSFW] My wife and I kept on arguing about who should be on top of whom during sex. Now I'm not saying I won, but I came out on top"

"How do you tell the difference in an oral thermometer and a rectal thermometer? Taste"

"In the library: ""Excuse me, where are the books about paranoia?"" ""They are... right behind you."""

"THE POWER OF NACHOS COMPELS YOU! THE POWER OF NACHOS COMPELS YOU!"

"If I'm ever on life support unplug me,, and then plug me back in again,, and see if that works."

"Trying to figure out a Tiger Woods joke. All I know is the punchline: ""A hole in one."" Probably something to do with a vag."