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Joke of the Day

"How do I know you're not a cop? ""If I was a cop, how would I have this?"" *shows police badge that just says 'Not a Cop' on it* Oh, okay good"

"I bet it really confuses poor Forrest Gump to see Lt. Dan on TV solving crimes in New York."

"Here is my period story Period. End of story."

"What did the boy say after the tailor made fun of him for not wearing pants? Hey, why don't you cut me some slacks?"

"A man, a lawyer, a redneck, a nun, a blonde, a dog, and a priest walk into a bar. The bartender looks up and says, ""Is this some kind of joke?"""

"What do you call it when a brunette dyes her hair blonde? Brainwashing."

"Someone made a song about Pokeballs It was pretty catchy"

"I care more about the outcome of sporting events than any other aspect of human existence."

"TIL that skydiving... ...without a parachute, is a once in a lifetime experience."

"I wish I could go back in time so I could remember where I was going with this update"