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Joke of the Day

"H.o.m.e.w.o.r.k Half of my energy wasted on random knowledge . :)"

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"The past, present and the future started fighting. It was in*tense*"
"*golf pro picks up his ball and eats it* *audience claps politely*"
"Why do people take such an instant dislike to Ted Cruz ? It saves so much time."
"Blind People: at your next barbecue hold an ear of corn up and yell ""WHO WROTE THIS SHIT?"" (non-blind people: please read this to blinds)"
"What happens when Captain America drinks water? He becomes hydrated."
"Knock Knock Who's there ! Candy ! Candy who ? Candy cow jump over the moon !"
"Friend: ""Omg, your parents are so nice!"" ... You: ""It's because you`re here.."""
"I've always sucked at math! How many people should there be in a relationship?"
"I'm trying to write a joke about unemployed people... But it needs more work"