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Joke of the Day
"""My god,"" I whisper as the food arrives. ""Just as the prophecy foretold."""
Next Joke
"Why don't dogs make good dancers ? Because they have two left feet !"
"I was gonna make a dubstep joke... But I dropped it."
"Almost all of the guys I drafted for my fantasy football team are football players which I think was a smart move"
"My alarm is so needy... it wants attention at the worst times!"
"If you listen closely you can hear the gas pump tell your kid's college fund to go fuck itself."
"How many guys in the Friendzone does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, they just stand around complimenting it then get pissed when it doesn't screw."
"Two peanuts walking down the street.... one was a salted (assaulted) XD"
"Nothing makes sex more awkward than realizing your kid is awake... and standing outside your door... and playing the harmonica."
"""Wow, that's great!"" ~ Me, not paying attention, and hoping you didn't just tell me your Grandma died."