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Joke of the Day
"My alarm is so needy... it wants attention at the worst times!"
Next Joke
"Trump There's no punchline, as the title was the full joke"
"3 Men Walk Into a Bar One of them should've noticed. (credit to my brother)"
"Whats the first thing you do when you spill something on your keyboard? Try to disable sticky keys."
"A man was rushed to the ER with six toy horses up his ass The doctors described his condition as stable."
"My wife says ""Don't walk away when I'm talking to you"" when 1. she's not talking, she's yelling, and 2. I'm not walking away, I'm retreating"
"*makes typo* *deletes tweet* *deletes twitter* *deletes life*"
"Oh, you left me a voicemail? Next time just tape a note to the door of the apartment I moved out of six years ago."
"What do you call really clear urine? 1080p"
"What do elephants do in the evenings ? Watch elevision !"